whoa!

I'm suprised I didn't catch a fly the way my jaw dropped when this video finished.
One word... whoa

familiarity

I left memphis on july 22nd. It hasnt been quite 3 months, yet my life is unrecognizable. I'm still the same person, but I have turned everything around. I've let go of some things and people that were just bad bad bad for me. I'm not unhappy with the changes, however I am in unfamiliar waters.
I find myself seeking comfort in familiarity...

the hunger...feels very october!

Brody Dalle... a few years ago, you could see my fetish with her clearly; the hair and the little black *leather* dress I wore completely out. I adored The Distillers and everything they put out. Then... they split and the next word was Brody was in love, pregnant and had gone back to her natural blonde locks.

Then word came of Brody's new band, Spinnerette. There was alot of hype while they negotiated a record deal. Spinnerette self titled album came out in June and I didn't even notice. The new song Baptized by Fire is pop rock at best. Barely memorable, highly forgettable. Though Brody looks great, her wails and beautiful screams set to angst filled and angry beats are gone.

I guess it's true... there's something about becoming a mom that makes you not want to be on the back of a harley going 90 miles an hour and scream... "faster!"

useful tools

"I walk down the street" and "you knew i was a snake" are samanthas 2 favorite useful tools for life now that shes grown.... but man did she hate hearing this when she was younger. i just ran across it online...
there are different variations. this one is the closest to what i used... less words meant i could get it out while she and her cohorts were still listening.

I walk down the street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
It takes forever to find a way out.


I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again.
It takes a long time to get out.


I walk down the same street and there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there, and still I fall in.
It's a habit.
I get out immediately.


I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.


I walk down a different street.

By Portia Nelson

"it's just the power to charm..."

This new job has brought about serious changes in my life.

There was a move involved, so I live in a beautiful place. Deer walk about the grounds that are so used to people, they just keep walking and pay little attention. They stroll past your window, or there will be one or two just lying in the shade when you walk outside. Wild!

I quit smoking. It's true i was down to 3 cigarettes a day, but after 13 days, I feel safe in saying... I've quit. My daughter quit the same day. Last week we were walking into a restaurant and people were smoking at tables outside. We looked at each other and "Oooh that smell!"

The most significant change... I have retired from live domination. I'm still available for phone/cam/online but no more live sessions. I have wanted to do this for some time, being completely burned out and jaded with having people tell me what they wanted me to do for them. HA! No mas!

I put out a few feelers and have been speaking to a couple of people about lifestyle possibilities. One is of particular interest. Being lifestyle only, changes the dynamic completely and opens up a world of possibility.

I just can't wait to see what happens next!