*pout*

i am dyiiiing without a camera. AHHH!
my phone got wet just as i was starting a new job so.... im waiting for that 1st check to replace the phone, among other things. i didnt realize how often i take pics until i lost the capability!
if youre gonna couch surf in california in 2010... the possibilities for weirdness are endless! you need a camera at all times to documnet the awesome madness of it all!
if i have to do halloween in new orleans with no cam... i'll be hella disappointed.

my own prison

im unhappy.
my thoughts are all over the place. i feel like i have no control over anything.
not even my own body, which has forsaken me. and i am trapped.
trapped in my mind, in my body, in walnut creek, in california.
i wanna throw some clothes and toys in ophelia and move it on down the highway.
im tired. and since i am sandra, my first insticnt is to run.
it never made me feel like a coward, i always felt like an adventurer.
"theres only so much you can learn in one place"
but the truth is... im too old to run and at times i wish i had a home again.

being back on the radar is a bit scary. i dont know what will come barreling towards me.

up the neck

lots of delicious flirt calls this morning.
be the first on your block! contribute to


help me have the most fun in new orleans and hear about my adventure with stupidphuck m~ when i return!

halloween in new orleans

i should be excited.
ive no costume and i cant drink.
is there something to do in new orleans besides dress like a chick youd meet at a weenie roast in hell and drink like a fool?
its all ive ever done there.

my memories are hazy and whiskey stained
new orleans is seedy and sinful.
it conjurs images of voodoo, cemetaries and creole folk
of scantily clad women in the street
of mardi gras beads and boobage
of mudbugs and the mississippi
of bars, jazz and alcohol
lots of alcohol.

m~ has been a devoted servant since 01.
we planned this trip before katrina hit. its been a long time coming.

out of time.

i have about 30 minutes before i leave for work. life is good, though it feels like there isnt enough of me to go round. this is a GOOD thing.
things seem to be lining up well for me. not perfectly; then it wouldnt be my life if there werent a snag or two to contend with.
so many things to touch on, they will spill out seemingly without order. there is none. only the chaos of my life holding my thoughts in until they are a jumbled mess.
i relapsed into a bit of self destruction. but caught myself quickly.
although i am finished with anal slut alex and our project is now defunct, i am not finished with rob.

i may die if i dont get this ring.

trusted

so incredibly busy. no day off til next saturday.
feel like im being pulled in a hundred directions... but its really only a handful.
new job is different. no paycheck for a month. ouch!
ive really no home, but keys to 3 different dwellings. isnt that odd? doesnt necessarily mean im always welcome but... i am trusted!