no we wont be raped

let me rant for a moment about my hair.

women... myself included.. cannot leave our hair alone. after wearing the same hair for 2 whole years, i got a really great haircut...... i LOVED it.

then in trying to keep it that way... i got several really bad cuts. no photos ewww

then i got possibly the best advice EVER about my hair.

"JUST LEAVE IT ALONE"

so i did. and it grew, and grew and before i knew it...

THEN... a female suggested i needed a change.

so i cut it.

then i cut bangs.

then i had a hair appt made 6 months earlier.

and she cut it.

and now... i hate it

so... i will no longer allow ANYONE to tell me what my hair needs. i been dealing with the mop for a long time. i dont think anyone knows better than me what it needs...

so now, i will just leave it alone!!

one of the best days ever

it required a bit of evil manipulation and two drives to samanthas. (9 to 14 minutes depending on one freakin light)
had breakfast w samantha on my morning break and went back when i got off work at 6p. we made a peach and blueberry cobbler and laughed for a couple of hours setting the terms for a new project. we have too much fun at the expense of others! but its sooo much fun.
i was also able to manipulate a situation to my advantage and sheer delight. me and sj laughed ourselves silly into the wee hours on the phone. i just spent 10 minutes trying to contain laughter. argh! hilarious. suffer scott suffer. i might pee myself.

domina pride

let me ramble about pleasure for a moment.

turn your mind to things sinful and delicious.

.... as a domina,

i saw your sons, your husbands and commitment phobic boyfriends.

they showed, though some had to be drug inside.

i stripped them naked and cuffed and blindfolded them, i bound their hands, feet or both and i taunted them. i pulled secrets from them, made them confess what lying cheating douchebags they were. i laughed at their arrogances and humiliated them. I pranced them like pretty pink whores and teased them mercilessly... whipped their asses (mindful not to leave marks) made them cry, eat their cum, grovel like dogs. I filled them like whores, spanked and kicked them, spit on them, and ripped their flesh bloody when i could... but i did NOT fuck them.

the pic is circa 2003. damn i looked good. the last 5 years have not been so kind.

hummer smacked

its true. i was smacked by a hummer in a freakin parking garage. the lady was very kind, apologetic and it wasnt completely her fault. she hit me yes. but someone vulturing for my spot, boxed me in so tight i couldnt move and then the hummer parked next to me backed out. my car so low and hers high, so she never saw me. it could have eaten my little 86 celica, so im grateful it only crunched a front blinker and did a number on one headlight. ophelia is perpetually winking.
so tomorrow on my day off... i get to go get an estimate. i have one session scheduled. first in a while. the stage is set... fucker just has to show up. ahh... the possibilities.

the dirt

want to hear the real DIRT on what ive been doing?
call me.
you know the tales of perverse darkness i can unload and enlighten you with!
lots of new treasures to behold at

2am

2 am
rough and raw
alone
pensive and beautiful
no frills
just me
the light
the camera
art isnt always pretty.

restless irritable, discontent

i am restless, irritable, discontent.
i cannot focus.

in a sea of ideas
i spiral down
hoping to emerge with one
i can be sure of.

i still need to control another... completely. i relish the thought.
witnessing surrender is the sweetest, most powerful thing.


its so close i can almost feel it.

the cult....

thnking of fall and lust and things that set my loins on fire..
a little something everyone could stick their dick in... even me. ian astbury from the cult... man hes pretty.



just saw these guys will be in san francisco on 9-19. who wants to take me?

time... in this place

if i am vague
if i am absent
be joyful
i am writing.
a new muse. she is beautiful, i love her and i dont want to fuck her, just to let her escape in the words.

whatever works!

life is busy. tootie, samantha, the fave bein a queen and bein a fb junkie, a flirt and still taking care of ME! never enough time so i have to be selfish. it isnt personal.
when summers over. i'll take a breath
try me again then.
i love the fall
i nest
and i love
lust in the fall.

update

i found out tonight why i didnt hear back from one of those i mentioned. it seems another lost friend died in a car accident. her older sister killed herself. god dammit. did i need to know that?
in loving memory of 2 golden haired girls, trapped forever in the 70's.
RIP Stacy Saint
RIP Pam Saint

rant

another social networking rant... are you ready?
fucking facebook. i love it, i hate it. ive actually found some good friends on there and some long lost that shouldve stayed that way. it is interesting to see the face of someone you knew 40 years ago. how they look, if they had kids, if they resemble them and so on. me, i just want a few basic questions answered. did you have a family? whats your favorite city (visited)? are you happy... etc.
heres my bitch...
if you have no intention of communicating with me... dont add me or accept my request. i have written a dozen messages on there that were not responded to in any way. grrr.

proposition 8

it is uncanny to me that, as far as weve come in communication and medicine, people are still judgemental. telling others how to live and love in the name of a supreme being is... well its ignorant.

a court says that not allowing gay marriage is unonstitutional. then less than an hour later... a judge orders a stay so that no gay couples can marry.
who the fuck cares? leave em alone!

to me its a matter of church and state. why should religion be involved in government at all? much less one religion that respresents only a portion of the people and not all of them.
and what about the rest of us. who know the truth... that we are here. allowed a cycle of life and when we cease, after the electrical impulses shut down... we are worm food.. which is part of the cycle.

i dont know. neither do you. this could be it. i am certainly not going to waste it by behaving myself.