let it bleed

 I'm cleaning out the drafts of the random thoughts from my phone and other unfinished masterpieces. My specialty.

They are perfect in my mind you see. I let myself down with words. With pencil or color. But in my mind.....

Only performance pieces. Like scenes that morph and warp erotic intensity as they blossom, tend to be perfection to me. It makes sense. its private art.between you and I. Perhaps I capture a nanosecond. It is but a reminder to you and I of the beautiful twisted darkness that we danced in for the briefest moment.

my thoughts too intense to be anything but felt.
 push the throttle.

far beyond jupiter

wish I could credit the artist properly. I cant make out the name, but you can see the signature.

27 days later

Sj and I stumbled upon "the secret" one night on Netflix.
we both waded into the shallow end at first but I kept going deeper.
4 months later, I ordered "the magic"
I just finished the 28 day gratitude thingy. ( Immersing gratitude into every area of your life)
and I am surprised I was able to pull it off. one day I fogot to make the daily list and one practice I didn't do but a few timesbut overall, I will take what works for me but I must say.
ive had amazing results with all of this.
the good feeling perpetuates...
life IS magical.

Hyper on 2

I sit, write, draw, dance and smoke in the back yard til at least 2 am every night. Later on days off. yep.... sunrise. Monitors and windows allow me to see if she gets up. Truth is I think I just don't want to go to bed alone. If there were someone waiting... Would I still be up?

.while I live in this lovely spot. Where I can wander safely at night, under the stars. Half naked if I want. Or fully if the moon is full.... I'm going to savor every second I can. I'll sleep when I'm dead thank you. 

im leavin tomorrow, what do you say?

Call the Hummingbirds

worlds most beautiful woman.

its not that i think a woman should look fuckable to be beautiful.
but gwyneth paltrow, worlds most beautiful woman?
dogshit. give me a fucking break.
there is nothing beautiful about her... especially since shes been awesome enough to show us her entitled nature on goop.
show us a beauty we havent seen before,
definitely not one who is as widely unpopular as this bony-ass uber brat.

heres an idea............................
zz ward

from may 2

3825

ive been reluctant to post.
i contemplated moving.
or starting over.
although it lacks direction
it is honest. raw and revealing.
a time travel romp all over my life.

im not ready to let it go.
yet.

life changes so quickly.
so many mornings i wake.
and i am not who i was yesterday.

ive realized recently...
i dont know what i want. (but what i dont)
i want to know what is available to me