In my hands

I'm in the worst funk. I feel sluggish because I have to sit around w my feet up when I'm not working. I'm holding an extra 10 pounds of fluid. Shoes. Shoes are a problem. I loathe flip flops because the offer no support; like a boot, per se. 

Mentally I'm spent from all this and just ready to be out of pain. 

I came back to work too quickly, in haste, just to be home again. 

My libido is back but I'm single and don't feel good enough to meet anyone new.

The CANCER is gone but I feel worse than I did before I got it. 

My only reprieve, it's all in my hands and I  can stop the suffering when I'm ready.