every time i see you it cost me another heartache

i ran away so often in my youth that they finally got rid of my "things".
i have very little from my childhood or school years. some faded memories of fingerbanging my best friend in 5th grade, fevered outdoor fucks and lots of acid and cannabis.
whats changed? theres no clean acid to be had and i fuck in a bed now..

over the years i have moved cross country, or out of it. so most of what i possess, i carry within. although samantha begged me for years to come back to california and get a little house in carmel. maybe.
maybe i'll have an idea of my own... right now im thinking clayton is good.
a cute car...
a new smile.
my ongoing battle with weight and gravity has me very happy. the atmosphere in clayton must be great for shape shifting... perhaps life morphing.
skydiving? ziplinging in costa rica? horseback riding on a beach in cabo? wonder what daring adventure the meditteranean holds??
id be happy to go snorkeling... anywhere.